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Monday, May 7, 2012

Go With The Flow

We just completed our first farmer’s markets for Kuzala Gluten Free Delectables - it was a smashing success.  It was great to be outside, meeting people, sharing our products and stories with other vendors. I met a self published children’s book author who had fantastic books with imaginative illustrations.  I find it interesting to hear the journey of another writer.  His booth did well and had a steady flow of customers all day.  I am encouraged by his success and look forward to my own in the coming years.

Saturday night after our first market, I snuggled up in bed to watch a “chic flick”.  I have to admit, I really did not enjoy the movie, but I was able to look at the film in a way I never have before.  I marked the scenes from beginning to end; the rise in action, the conflict, the transition.  It became clear how to transfer this to my novel in a new way.  To know it in my brain is one thing, but to make the connection to my writing is another.  Without effort, clarity in something I love became apparent.

My writing, business, family, relationships, etc. work in a similar way.  Removing resistance patterns produces harmony which promotes creativity.  I am constantly amazed by the synchronicity I experience on a daily basis.  My days plans are completely altered making way for new opportunities I had not seen before.  When I “go with the flow” I loose less energy on being frustrated and the day unfolds as it will.

I have experienced moments of resistance with our new business because I know that much of my life has to be consumed with its birth and growth.  My “free” time is minimal - reading and writing are a great privilege not assumed.  However, I find I enjoy this venture and I do have the wit, energy and perseverance to make it succeed.  It is what I do now and when this moment is over, the next one flows into itself with perfect unfoldment. 

Thank you for sharing my journey.  I love your comments and the community we share.

ps  Please send me your opinions on new biscotti flavors:
     a. chocolate, cranberry, pecan
     b. orange spice
     c.  bananna walnut

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Do you ever notice life seems to fly out of control at the worst possible times?  I am not sure this is entirely true, but it sure seems that way.  This week I should be preparing for my first 2 farmer’s markets - baking away and gathering the last minute items I need for a successful sale.  This weekend is important.  We need to make our first sales and start generating income, but low and behold, a major challenge is hindering my progress.

With a baby whom is sick and contagious with a nasty virus, life as I know it has come to a near halt.  After canceling most events of the week and baking late at night or early in the morning, I press on.

I promised myself if I ran into major obstacles with this business, I would stop, breathe and find the way around, over or through the obstruction.  My mind and emotions wage war against one another.  My mind and experience know it will all be okay, but my stomach gurgles, my body retaliates with physical manifestations of my stress and I want to run and cry! 

I stop.  I breathe in love. I breathe out love.  Everything is okay.  I have help, support and an ingenious mind.  I will overcome.

 Monday morning money stress hit like a tidal wave and the fear Kuzala may not be as successful as I have envisioned took root, but with Alaya’s sickness, the toxic thoughts disappeared.  Even this early in the week, I know I am not alone and of course we will succeed in this venture.  When I keep my priorities in order, all will find a place and the “to do’s” that don’t may not have been as important as I once thought.  Optimistic - no, experience has proven it.

May you see the challenges in your life as a way to lift you higher in every way.

Love & light,

Sunday, April 22, 2012


Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.
Ambrose Bierce
Kyler's Optimism - I'm Awesome, why don't you get it?
I got a good chuckle when I read this quote on my Google Home Page.  I am an optimist and to keep myself from wallowing in the mire, I am sure I have tried to think this way just to keep from falling into the pit of pessimism.  “Good” things come with great trials, frustrations and lessons and it takes a positive attitude to keep moving through them.  Hindsight is 20/20.  Looking back on the events of my life, I can truly say it was all good and for my growth and upliftment, but in the midst of the struggle, it just plain stinks and I can not wait to be free from its hold.

Kegan's 16 Year Old Optimism - My teachers are out to ruin my life!
I’ll use marriage as a perfect example.  When I met my husband and we began dating, our relationship was flowery and giddy.  He appeared to be the answer to all my prayers and no matter the obstacle, we would overcome.  We were strong, optimistic and crazy in love.  (Yes, I do fully mean insane - for the mind cannot think clearly with the biological forces at work in a fresh, new relationship.)  As we faced the challenges of family, finances, personality traits, leftover baggage from the past, all the schmaltzy love disappeared.  Like sandpaper on weathered wood, we scraped against one another with painful realities of the truth of our nature.  I just wanted to get away from the situation; it seemed to be a disaster.  As we accepted the fact we were stuck together because there was no escape, we began to work together, forgive and listen.  The rough, splintered boards have transformed into a work of art.  Not to say the work is done, but the renovation on us was well worth the effort and I am a better person for forging on and I believe my husband is as well.

Perhaps the trails in my life really are all good though they may have been caused by my own foolish choices, the final result is something quite beautiful to behold.  I remember the common, yet wise cliché, “This too shall pass” because it will and I have the opportunity to grow from it if I choose.

Let me know if you can relate or if you disagree.  I love reading your comments, for they too smooth my rough edges.


Monday, April 9, 2012

Do Something

Don’t Just Sit There, DO Something!
Or it is
Don’t Just Do Something, SIT there!
Finding the balance in life is no small task; it’s a constant challenge for me.  In December, I began working with a book/class called The Artist Way by Julia Cameron.  It is a spectacular resource for opening up your creative self.  I found it to be helpful not only in writing, but in basic problem solving as well.

It’s one thing in life to be a dreamer and another to be a doer.  I believe the perfect balance is a blending of the two.  I can visualize my goals with precision, but getting there is my enigma.  How do I balance my creative imagination with physical results?  Do I follow my heart and write when our finances really do not allow for this luxury?  Do I return to what I have done for years in the construction/cleaning business and hope the time for writing will come?  Neither one works for me.  I can not effectively survive without “X” amount of dollars and trust me I have tried and cut every expenditure imaginable.  Yet, I would betray my heart if I returned to a job I no longer wanted to do nor am physically able to do.
Kegan with the same dilema!
I woke up one morning a few months ago at 3 am with a business plan in my head.  Could this be the answer?  After much research and advice, I am moving on the venture with the hopes of meeting my financial needs in a positive way which will eventually allow me to write.  I am excited to introduce to you a healthy, innovative, environmentally responsible company, Kuzala Gluten Free Delectables.  I am privileged to be partnering not only with my immediate family, but my brother Jeremy, my parents and friends to make this company a success.


Kuzala opens for business at the end of April and will bring low glycemic, naturally sweetened, gluten free products to Denver and the surrounding area. 

Putting trust in myself to make this endeavor a success has been a task all its own.  Gently refining and balancing the priorities of my spiritual and physical life will prove to be prosperous either way.
Shared journey’s make light the way.  I’d love to hear from you about venturing into the unknown.

Love & light,

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

New Adventures

My dream of being a writer is here!  It’s not what I expected, but its part of the journey and I embrace it with both arms.  I have had the great pleasure of writing creatively in a non-fiction environment for the past couple of months and although I have done quite of bit of this type of writing in the past, I find my writing has matured over time.

"Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver." - Ayn Rand

I am excited to tell you about some wonderful opportunities I have taken advantage of to earn money needed to write the books which reside in my heart.

Check out for my recent work in promoting a fantastic Mexican vacation destination in LaCruz de Huanacaxtle, Nayarit, Mexico.  Our writing group in planning a relaxing writers retreat in November. 


The next thrilling business venture we are about to embark upon is:

Kuzala Gluten Free Delectables

This new company is set to launch in late April.  Our wholesale gluten free bakery will storm the Denver Markets with exquisite low glycemic, gluten free, low sugar cookies and desserts.  Our website will be up and running soon.  Please follow our events page and check us out!

It’s amazing to observe synchronistic events leading me down an unknown path to a destination I know I will love.  Life is wondrous and awesome as I enter the flow without resistance to see where it will lead me.  A prayer I have in my heart daily is for “The light for the highest good”.  Since I do not know what is for my highest good, it’s interesting to see where the path will lead.  I hope you will join me on this journey into the unknown and share your story with me.
Squirrels + Coffee
Dear God.  Help us!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


What a week!  I am working fervently launching businesses which when mature, will enable me to focus on my books.  I would like to introduce you to some of the exciting happening in our household. 

The first and most fun by far, is Kegan’s blog début. My eldest son Kegan, now 16 years old, has shown an interest in writing.  He excelled at poetry in his middle school years, then struggled his first year of high school, but has returned to try his hand again in this creative endeavor.  Seeing life through the eyes of my teenager is an entertaining and wondrous experience.  So without further ado, here is Kegan Johnson.


I love chips. The salty, crunchy sensation from this delicacy known as chips is the corner stone of pleasure in my life. Mom doesn’t want me eating them. She is crazy not letting me have these chips. Two weeks I have to live without chips and I have no idea how I can last this long. My mind tells me to resist but my mouth will do anything to get a hold of the good stuff; I do not know how much longer I can resist the best sensation in my life. I remembered when I bought my first bag of chips; it was my favorite flavor, Hint of Lime Tortilla Chips. When I ate them, I thought I was in heaven; just thinking about them rekindles my cravings for them. Temptation kick in, my mouth begins to water. I close in on the idea of sneaking one, just one, bag of chips a week. Just to hold me over. I feel myself slowing losing control. It won’t be long before I go totally mad.

Post a comment and let his know what you think.  Have a great week! 

p.s. Thank you for your name suggestions.  I’ll let you know soon the name of our new bakery!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Bakery Name Contest

My nose is bloodied from being put to the grindstone.  I am setting up several new businesses so that one day I can write full time.  One of the toughest things I have had to do is name the bakery.  I, unlike many writers, name my pieces very early in the process.  If provides direction and the piece becomes alive; it no longer is just an idea, it breathes and grows.  In my quest, I ran into some fabulous websites you may want to check out.

Who remembers Snigglets? They were a small section on Not Neccesarily the News back in the 80’s.  Snigglets were great made up words and I believe it is where “spork” got its origin.  Squidoo is a fun site for fun or forgotten words like “blowsabelle”.  Can you guess its meaning?  (This is so me on a bad day.)  blowsabella (n.) a rough, romping red-faced female whose hair is dishevelled and hanging about her face. Gotta love it!  Just call me a “Bleached Mort” (fair complexioned female) and you’ll love this word - circumbilivagination.  You’ll have to look it up to find out what it means.  Find it here:   Here is another for those of you who love words:

Beggar's Velvet

Beggar's Velvet ( downey particles which accumulate under furniture from the negligence of housekeepers.

I would love your help in naming our newest business scheduled to open May/June of 2012.  It is a gluten/sugar free wholesale bakery.  I have in mind “Happy” or some variation.  Leave me some suggestions.  If your name is chosen, you will receive $50 in free baked goods.  Thanks for your help!

p.s. Kegan’s blog is coming…next time. 
Illustration Credit: The Gross Uncle at

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Isn’t it amazing what a day can bring forth?  How about a week of synchronistic events?  I stand amazed by the power of creativity.

My week began with worry and frustration. I find it near impossible to create a good piece of writing while our financial ends wave at each other from across the creek.  I spend my time floundering for a paddle in which to connect them.  So I ask myself, how do I have a profluent life and still do what I love?  The answer comes in not one solution, but several. 

I woke at 3 am Tuesday morning fully alert. A near complete business plan in my head.  As an entrepreneur most of my adult life, I love contemplating new ideas.  I thought, if I can build several small businesses, the combined dividends of each will enable me to write and earn enough money to not sweat out the bills each month without consuming all my time and energy.

With my phone as a light, I scribbled notes down for an hour before I could rest again.  Excitement filled every cell and I was running on its energy and working hard to make the ideas come to life.  As I followed the call, numerous business owners expressed interest in my sales as a wholesaler which in turn, fueled my enthusiasm.

Then, like any good story, conflict enters and my character is challenged.  It won’t go.  I can’t do it.  It was probably a stupid idea anyway. I will have to go back to a job I don’t want to do.  I’ll not find time to write.  I won’t have money and we’ll probably lose the house.  Nice pity party, wouldn’t you say?  I sent myself to my room and began to journal.

Hope poked its head from behind the dark clouds of dismay.  A window opened and brought with it not only the fresh air of a new idea, but knowledge through the closure; I opened to a better idea.  Fantastic ideas are flowing and again I am filled with confidence.

My you find many windows in your life!

P.S. I’ll announce the new business ventures soon!
New Windows!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Mission Impossible
One of the significant rewards in following my passion to write has been the amazing people I have met along the way. I have met writers from various walks of life and in different stages of their writing pursuit.  Each one has given me a gift to take on my journey, although it may take some time to ascertain it.  It’s like finding money in the pocket of an old pair of jeans.  It makes you smile and you feel just a little more ahead of where you were a moment ago.

I have been guided and encouraged by the most unlikely sources and found friendships in a vulnerable society.  Writers must put themselves out for criticism and critiques from readers at large and fellow writers.  I appreciate gingerly stepped advice and caring encouragement of my peers not only to myself but to others attempting to make their story heard in a compelling way.

On days when I think I must be totally irrational for trying to make any kind of living doing what I love, I remember the brave souls who have done it before me and those who share my journey.  We encourage and cheer each other on to face the fear and/or the obstacle.  Creativity now becomes indispensible in every area of life to reach the goal. 

In a world of realism, truth emerges in what at first appears nonsense authoring wisdom to the seemingly impossible.

“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.  “When I was your age, I always did if for half an hour a day.  Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” 
Lewis Carroll

What impossible task will you believe in today?

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Aaah part 2

Novelist Robert Kirkman suggests figuring out how little sleep you can live on in order to make your dreams come true.  Creator of the hit series, “The Walking Dead”, he should know a thing or two about zombies.  He revealed in a recent interview he barely slept for two years in order to work and launch his writing career.  Admittedly, I admire his tenacity and have tried this scheme myself, but to no avail.  I cannot produce writing of any genuine value while exhausted.  Having tried and failed, I reply with a mighty, NEXT!

Fortunately, I haven’t spent my precious energy trying to contrive yet another more productive way to organize my life; however, I will say I did, once upon a time, obsess about this very idea.  Now I am simply “doing” what is before me.  This week it’s work.  Not my research and writing work, but physical labor including, painting, cleaning and filling in at my aunt’s downtown deli while she is vacationing in Florida.  After submitting to the idea that I would not be able to focus much on my novel, I chose to put my energy into the duties of the day and have accomplished more than I expected and with great release for I have found time to tackle a couple of long overdue house projects as well.

I feel good.  I recognize so many blessings in my life and realize how truly happy I am.  In the past week, my husband and I have taken time to play and the rewards are astonishing.  I forget the restorative power fun affords!  Friday night, bleary eyed & exhausted, I sat up playing Monopoly with Kyler & Hunter till we nearly passed out.  I had to eat peanuts to stay alert and remember to pay my debts from my own money and not the banks.  We laughed, giggled and made stupid jokes up that would only be funny at that moment and as I crawled into bed that night, my heart sang of the love I have for my kids and my life. 

I simply cannot afford the drain of energy negativity brings.  Lift it, bless it and move on is my mantra this week and I have to say, it’s working quite well.  When I allow life to unfold effortlessly like the pedals of a rose, the beauty is remarkable and no dream or plan could make it go any better.

Sunday, February 19, 2012


I am at an interesting time in my life; sort of a mid-ish life crisis.  Okay, so maybe crisis is too strong a word, but I am certainly standing in the middle of several crossroads at once and my emotions are scattered as much as my thoughts. To illustrate this, here are a few examples.
I enter my daughter’s 2 year old preschool to hear the mommies discussing the Valentine Party and distribution of Valentines.  I groaned knowing I would not only miss one hour of my extremely limited writing time, but I would need to produce Valentines as well.  I just finished elementary class parties with the boys.  Later I felt a little guilty about my attitude and Alaya & I had a great time coloring Valentines.  The next day we partied with her best buddies at an adorable and festive gathering.

The Ladies

Don't you just want to kiss him?

Now on the other end of my parenting spectrum I am riding in our car with my eldest son, Kegan, at the wheel.  He rolls his eyes with my rambling wisdoms and cautions about being a defensive and alert driver.  As I push him to slide in and out of traffic with an exact order, “Go NOW!”, I discover once again the thrill of driving, but what is more amusing is observing the shocked and panicked expression on my son’s face of what he just did at the command of his mother.
Moving somewhat out of the mom stage, I am at a point in my life where I cherish my alone time and take care of myself in constructive selfishness.  I did not do much of this when the boys were young; they and their father were my life.  Now that I have finally chosen this important task and seen the fruit of its wisdom in a happier, healthier family; I feel like a kid again.  I have dreams I want to follow.  I want to write, play music, sing, learned different languages, etc.  The joy and wonder of being alive is fresh and clear.
Then reality sets in.  I have to find a way to be myself, follow my dreams, partner with my husband, guide my children, make money and care for my home and all the unmentioned duties of running an effective household.  It seems I’ve bit off a bit more than I can chew.

Next crossroad - I face my own little paradox.  I want to accept where I am in life without frustration or discouragement.  I want continued appreciation and gratitude for the richness of my life NOW.  I want to follow my inner desires but at the same time, set them free.  So where do I find peace and contentment without fighting my longings?  I'm told to live fully and attentively one moment at a time.  Tune in next week to see if I can put this simple idea into practice.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Lesson's Learned

3:00 am Mountain Time, February 3, 2012: Laido & I were stumbling around for our snow gear. Our car was already buried in 8 inches of the fluffy white stuff and the snow was still coming down.  Dazed, I groped for my beloved coffee - my savior after another near sleepless night of coughing.  According to the United Airlines website, my flight out of town was miraculously on-time!
3:30 pm Central Time: After two flights and a small layover, I stepped off the plane in sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico while my hometown was blanketed with 18 inches of heavy, wet snow.  Laido, stuck at home with all the kids due to the snow day; I, breathed my first tropical breath of the south.  My lungs began to heal immediately as I acclimated to my new environment almost immediately.

Traversing southwest Mexico for just a few days on a mini vacation/business trip, I had a full agenda, first things first - street tacos! I was sent to gather pictures, information and a feel for the new La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Nayarit, Mexico for a website I am building for my mom’s Inn.  I hadn’t visited in many years due to trials in the north. The place had changed…a lot!  Still, this was nothing like work and more like relaxation for research.

I did learn some valuable lessons on my journey; first, little white Chihuahua’s need to wear sweaters n 81© degree weather because they get cold.  My mom’s adorable little bundle of joy, Samantha or Sammy for short, has a vast array of fashions to fit any occasion, but she is not only out to dress to impress, but for comfort on the chilly days in paradise.  She loves the boys of La Cruz, but has her heart set on one handsome cutie, she hopes to woo with her charming ways.

Secondly, I learned nude male sunbathers get rather offended when beautiful women walk past them more than once and give them no recognition.  This is especially true when one of the women walks right up to their patch of beach to fetch their curious puppy, takes a glance and has no reaction whatsoever.  The poor fellow was left standing on the beach, hands on his hips, utterly baffled by the idea that his unit did not bring an ounce of emotion from anger to admiration. (Sorry, no pic for this one!)
Perhaps I should stick to writing!
Thirdly, I learned I really stink at running a video camera.  Video does not focus as quickly as the eye.  Too short of video was worse than too much because I could not edit what I did not have. Also, I never checked the quality of my video until after I arrived home from my fabulous vacation which was quite discouraging.

Lastly, I learned I have another home in Mexico.  I had never really taken this information into my consciousness before this trip, but from the first “Welcome Home” upon my arrival, the truth began to set in.  My mom built an incredible four story Mexican Inn in the booming and breathtaking town of La Cruz.  Only blocks from an incredible beach and new marina; this place was a paradise incorporating both the old and the new.  I loved the people, the places, the food, and yes, even the local dogs, which is a blog all its own.  I experienced so much in my short visit; I breathed in each moment as a breath of fresh air.  I took the entire area into my heart and it sent off a warm, homey glow.

I learned my mom and I are not that different.  We both share similar quirks and a love for nature, art and beauty.  We are both quite content with very little, but our extravagances we deeply cherish.  We are both incredibly strong, determined women with a huge capacity to love.  I am so grateful to have been blessed with my mom and all she has bestowed upon me. As a friend of hers rightfully remarked, “She got a good one!”

p.s. If you like what you read, please join my blog and send it to your friends.  I’d love to hear your comments both positive and constructively negative.  Thank you

Thursday, January 26, 2012

What Next?

I finally acquiesced to seeing a medical professional today.  Finally because I have been coughing for 3 weeks and Laido is worried.  I have an aversion to western medicine.  Its treatments have had little effect and a few of its practitioners have not only proven quite ignorant, but at times downright deceptive.  Neither are my feelings towards pharmaceutical companies any warmer.
As I am sitting in my local “Take Care Clinic”, I ask myself, why are you so angry?  Tears nearly burst through my eyes as the anger and hurt come forcefully to the surface of my present reality.

My head is throbbing from coughing, yet I can make little sense of it.  I have no cold symptoms, yet I continue to cough relentlessly.  In a meditation, I ask what is this all about?  The answer comes in Chinese Medicine where organs are associated with feelings.  For example, anger is linked to the liver and fear to the kidneys.  I check it out and find lung difficulties are linked to grief and sadness.  I knew I had my answer as I had set intentions on clearing out old baggage in the weeks prior.

This cough has slowed me down…a lot.  Yet, I have found gratitude in it as I have taken time to examine my heart.  I set my intentions knowing that in order to accomplish the goals, I must make some changes.  There is always the “what next?” as I go from A to Z, making choices, clearing blockages, healing the self, etc. to reach the desired outcome.

So do the tears come from grief in my personal life as well as other’s lives?  Do they arise from this present moment or years or lives of frustration?  Then I ask myself, what does it matter anyway?  Let it flow, let it go.

Releasing this grief and sadness has been like walking along a dark, constricting path.  The mountain behind me bears me up, but the ground beneath my feet is unstable gravel.  I’m obsessed with the next step and can think of little else. I find myself angry with so many little things, then angry with myself for being short tempered.

What now?  I forgive myself and know the greater Light is just ahead.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"Let Me Fall"

Have you ever listened to a song many times, then suddenly, like a flash of lightening, you hear the words and they strike your heart?  Astounded, you sit in awe pondering the words.  Amazement comes over you as the synchronicity of the moment reveals itself.  You’d never guess that I recently had one of those special moments.  It is not the first time this has happened, but I love it every time it does.

I am a Josh Groban fan as his music and vocals are some of the most powerful I have ever heard.  I was surprised to find he wrote the song that so forcefully touch me the other night.

Post a comment about your favorite song or one that has moved you at one time or another.  I’d love to hear from you!

The song is called Let Me Fall.  The Lyrics follow:

Let me fall
Let me climb
s a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won
t heed your warnings
I won
t hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won
t heed your warnings
I won
t hear

Let me fall
If I fall
s no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment

Here is a link to see a performance on YouTube.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


My favorite Christmas gift this year came from my beloved friend Laido; a delicate silver bracelet with silver slip knot ties and a small silver plaque with a tiny star hanging from its side.  What made the gift special was not so much the piece of jewelry itself, but the words of truth inscribed on it.
“Dreams become reality one choice at a time.”

I felt the power of those words the moment I read them.  I wondered if he had any idea what changes this may cause in our lives together, for I am a dreamer.  An optimist would be putting my ideals mildly, though they are not without rules of reality.  I imagine a life of loving beauty complete with growth, accomplishment and making a difference in my world.  Alone in its wonder, I push past social norms, common clichés and cynicism with a persistent knowing in my heart that they contain a measure of truth.

Somewhere in my adult life I lost much of my ability to dream and went as far as not knowing what I really even liked being content to take what was given and immerse myself in helping my family accomplish their dreams.  I don’t mean to imply servitude and acceptance to not be honorable traits; however, I had lost the balance of taking care of myself in equal measure.  In caring and nurturing my own dreams, I have discovered I am able to give from a flowing river instead of a trickling stream.  I am able to model to my family a way of “getting your cake and eating it too”.

Recently I have made some important choices; choices which took tremendous courage and belief that I was doing the right thing.  It has opened up a new world for me.  My dreams are no longer in the shadows of my thoughts, but are taking shape in the light of day.

Monday, January 2, 2012

To Resolve or Not To Resolve

Reflections on New Year’s Resolutions
As the New Year rolls in, I anticipate reflections on the past year, as well as, looking forward to the coming year with fresh hope of revived dreams and aspirations.   

On the one hand, the optimist belief in attaining my dreams is exhilarating, but on the other hand, the realistic boundaries and blockages can leave me defeated and crushed in spirit.

As I begin to set a course for attaining my desires, the loyal forces of the opposition launch a counter attack with a list of “shoulds”, hardships, and feelings of lack towards the worth of my dreams.

I usually do well on my list with sheer will power and determination until about the end of March when I am exhausted and resolve to accept the futility of my quest.

This past fall I began something new.  In the past I have written “eye spy’s” where I documented perceived progress and lists of gratitude which were indeed helpful reminders, but it was not enough to catapult me past the seemingly endless lists of responsibilities which were keeping me from my goal.  My disheartening and overwhelming “To Do” lists are being replaced with “To Done” lists.  As I write out all I accomplished in a day, I am amazed at what I see.  It may be as simple as showering ALONE and having time to wash my hair and shave or reflective as comforting my teen who is overwhelmed by the stresses of high school life; sometimes it even includes a project I that has been nagging at the back of my head for a while.  At its completion, I feel really good about myself. 

I also began a practice of journal writing first thing in the morning.  I believe this saved me this holiday season and reduced my stress level enormously.  Many mornings, I would dump my To Do list on the page, not to look at it again, then release it allowing the priorities to rise to the top while the remainder fell from my consciousness. 

Together, I cultivate positive, affirming beliefs in my head.  By releasing my stress and feeding my feelings of self worth, I am energized and find time to do what I love and accomplish my goals.

I am off to fill in my dream journal for 2012 with a knowing that I Can.

Poll:  Do you make New Year's resolutions?