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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Aaah part 2

Novelist Robert Kirkman suggests figuring out how little sleep you can live on in order to make your dreams come true.  Creator of the hit series, “The Walking Dead”, he should know a thing or two about zombies.  He revealed in a recent interview he barely slept for two years in order to work and launch his writing career.  Admittedly, I admire his tenacity and have tried this scheme myself, but to no avail.  I cannot produce writing of any genuine value while exhausted.  Having tried and failed, I reply with a mighty, NEXT!

Fortunately, I haven’t spent my precious energy trying to contrive yet another more productive way to organize my life; however, I will say I did, once upon a time, obsess about this very idea.  Now I am simply “doing” what is before me.  This week it’s work.  Not my research and writing work, but physical labor including, painting, cleaning and filling in at my aunt’s downtown deli while she is vacationing in Florida.  After submitting to the idea that I would not be able to focus much on my novel, I chose to put my energy into the duties of the day and have accomplished more than I expected and with great release for I have found time to tackle a couple of long overdue house projects as well.

I feel good.  I recognize so many blessings in my life and realize how truly happy I am.  In the past week, my husband and I have taken time to play and the rewards are astonishing.  I forget the restorative power fun affords!  Friday night, bleary eyed & exhausted, I sat up playing Monopoly with Kyler & Hunter till we nearly passed out.  I had to eat peanuts to stay alert and remember to pay my debts from my own money and not the banks.  We laughed, giggled and made stupid jokes up that would only be funny at that moment and as I crawled into bed that night, my heart sang of the love I have for my kids and my life. 

I simply cannot afford the drain of energy negativity brings.  Lift it, bless it and move on is my mantra this week and I have to say, it’s working quite well.  When I allow life to unfold effortlessly like the pedals of a rose, the beauty is remarkable and no dream or plan could make it go any better.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Aaaah!

I am at an interesting time in my life; sort of a mid-ish life crisis.  Okay, so maybe crisis is too strong a word, but I am certainly standing in the middle of several crossroads at once and my emotions are scattered as much as my thoughts. To illustrate this, here are a few examples.
I enter my daughter’s 2 year old preschool to hear the mommies discussing the Valentine Party and distribution of Valentines.  I groaned knowing I would not only miss one hour of my extremely limited writing time, but I would need to produce Valentines as well.  I just finished elementary class parties with the boys.  Later I felt a little guilty about my attitude and Alaya & I had a great time coloring Valentines.  The next day we partied with her best buddies at an adorable and festive gathering.

The Ladies


Don't you just want to kiss him?



















Now on the other end of my parenting spectrum I am riding in our car with my eldest son, Kegan, at the wheel.  He rolls his eyes with my rambling wisdoms and cautions about being a defensive and alert driver.  As I push him to slide in and out of traffic with an exact order, “Go NOW!”, I discover once again the thrill of driving, but what is more amusing is observing the shocked and panicked expression on my son’s face of what he just did at the command of his mother.
Moving somewhat out of the mom stage, I am at a point in my life where I cherish my alone time and take care of myself in constructive selfishness.  I did not do much of this when the boys were young; they and their father were my life.  Now that I have finally chosen this important task and seen the fruit of its wisdom in a happier, healthier family; I feel like a kid again.  I have dreams I want to follow.  I want to write, play music, sing, learned different languages, etc.  The joy and wonder of being alive is fresh and clear.
Then reality sets in.  I have to find a way to be myself, follow my dreams, partner with my husband, guide my children, make money and care for my home and all the unmentioned duties of running an effective household.  It seems I’ve bit off a bit more than I can chew.

Next crossroad - I face my own little paradox.  I want to accept where I am in life without frustration or discouragement.  I want continued appreciation and gratitude for the richness of my life NOW.  I want to follow my inner desires but at the same time, set them free.  So where do I find peace and contentment without fighting my longings?  I'm told to live fully and attentively one moment at a time.  Tune in next week to see if I can put this simple idea into practice.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Lesson's Learned

3:00 am Mountain Time, February 3, 2012: Laido & I were stumbling around for our snow gear. Our car was already buried in 8 inches of the fluffy white stuff and the snow was still coming down.  Dazed, I groped for my beloved coffee - my savior after another near sleepless night of coughing.  According to the United Airlines website, my flight out of town was miraculously on-time!
3:30 pm Central Time: After two flights and a small layover, I stepped off the plane in sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico while my hometown was blanketed with 18 inches of heavy, wet snow.  Laido, stuck at home with all the kids due to the snow day; I, breathed my first tropical breath of the south.  My lungs began to heal immediately as I acclimated to my new environment almost immediately.


Traversing southwest Mexico for just a few days on a mini vacation/business trip, I had a full agenda, first things first - street tacos! I was sent to gather pictures, information and a feel for the new La Cruz de Huanacaxtle, Nayarit, Mexico for a website I am building for my mom’s Inn.  I hadn’t visited in many years due to trials in the north. The place had changed…a lot!  Still, this was nothing like work and more like relaxation for research.


I did learn some valuable lessons on my journey; first, little white Chihuahua’s need to wear sweaters n 81© degree weather because they get cold.  My mom’s adorable little bundle of joy, Samantha or Sammy for short, has a vast array of fashions to fit any occasion, but she is not only out to dress to impress, but for comfort on the chilly days in paradise.  She loves the boys of La Cruz, but has her heart set on one handsome cutie, she hopes to woo with her charming ways.


Secondly, I learned nude male sunbathers get rather offended when beautiful women walk past them more than once and give them no recognition.  This is especially true when one of the women walks right up to their patch of beach to fetch their curious puppy, takes a glance and has no reaction whatsoever.  The poor fellow was left standing on the beach, hands on his hips, utterly baffled by the idea that his unit did not bring an ounce of emotion from anger to admiration. (Sorry, no pic for this one!)
Perhaps I should stick to writing!
Thirdly, I learned I really stink at running a video camera.  Video does not focus as quickly as the eye.  Too short of video was worse than too much because I could not edit what I did not have. Also, I never checked the quality of my video until after I arrived home from my fabulous vacation which was quite discouraging.


Lastly, I learned I have another home in Mexico.  I had never really taken this information into my consciousness before this trip, but from the first “Welcome Home” upon my arrival, the truth began to set in.  My mom built an incredible four story Mexican Inn in the booming and breathtaking town of La Cruz.  Only blocks from an incredible beach and new marina; this place was a paradise incorporating both the old and the new.  I loved the people, the places, the food, and yes, even the local dogs, which is a blog all its own.  I experienced so much in my short visit; I breathed in each moment as a breath of fresh air.  I took the entire area into my heart and it sent off a warm, homey glow.

I learned my mom and I are not that different.  We both share similar quirks and a love for nature, art and beauty.  We are both quite content with very little, but our extravagances we deeply cherish.  We are both incredibly strong, determined women with a huge capacity to love.  I am so grateful to have been blessed with my mom and all she has bestowed upon me. As a friend of hers rightfully remarked, “She got a good one!”


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